Communication is one of the most essential factors that keeps a relationship together, for it builds a strong bond between partners. It serves many purposes; we need to communicate to deal with our differences, to express our emotions, to know where we stand with each other, and to be on the same page when it comes to comfort and boundaries. The existence of silence itself in times of conflict is a warning sign that things are shaky as hell.
A healthy relationship is a two-way street, not one. It requires the effort and time of both parties. When one person refuses to talk about serious issues concerning the well-being of the relationship, communication is over. No more honest conversations, just a couple of cold words to get it over with. Hence, there is plenty of room for misunderstanding, resentment, and confusion.
Sometimes we need explanations for what went wrong because we are not used to them being that way. We need reasons for the sudden change in behavior because the reason behind it is so vague to us. We need the honest truth in order to get rid of the assumptions that are keeping us up all night. We need to know because we care and we absolutely hate the way things have become.
Silence is extremely difficult to deal with when you value honesty greatly. It sucks that you’d be willing to hear the truth even when it’s harsh, yet you don’t get anything. When you’re transparent with everyone, you expect them to be the same. You don’t expect them to become so cold and detached.
It becomes so exhausting to desperately call for their attention to the fact you’re tired of trying to make them utter the words. It feels like your efforts are being wasted, because the person you’re dealing with isn’t willing to even try. You feel like you’re slowly being pushed away. You start seeing the end before your eyes.
“I don’t know why we all hang on to something we know we’re better off letting go of. It’s like we’re scared to lose what we don’t really have. Some of us say we’d rather have something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than not having it at all.”
– Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy
They obviously aren’t as emotionally involved in the relationship as you are. They don’t invest their emotions. They avoid all sorts of confrontations because they prefer to stay guarded. You feel defeated knowing with a cold certainty that there’s nothing you could to make them change their mind and open up a little. You tried, with everything you’ve got.
But your energy is draining and you need it for far more important things. As hard as it is, leaving is the only way to go. You refuse to stay in a place where you’re not welcomed anymore. Not every person we fall in love with is right for us.
They say when you’re in love, you eventually fall out of love. But that wasn’t case with him, because you still love him but the way you do is different. You love him from a distance, as a memory. You still care about how he is doing, but you’re just not involved with him anymore.