The One Who Got Away

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You date and get into relationships only to get attached, thinking that nothing can tear you apart. You share dreams and aspirations, you plan your future together.

But there comes an unanticipated change.

The person whom you’ve shared your life with has left with no traces.

No warning.

No explanation.

You look back on the experiences and dreams you shared. A sudden intense sense of longing emerges. You remember all the nights spent as if the world was yours, as if you were the only two people in the world. But that is just history.

Although almost all goodbyes carry with them some sort of distress, nothing is more heartbreaking than an ending that makes no sense to us. One that doesn’t seem to make sense any time soon.

When you have finally found someone you feel like you strongly connect with, you hold on to them. You’re full of hope, not really ready to expect the worst. When they suddenly drop off the face of the planet, you give them the benefit of the doubt. There must be a reason.

But as the days of undelivered text messages turn to weeks, and then a month, things stop making sense. He wanted me, but then suddenly, he didn’t want to know me anymore.

Just yesterday, we were dreaming about creating a future together. We were talking and laughing together. We shared our best and worst times together.

Just yesterday, everything felt fine.

Feelings of inadequacy start seeping in. I must have done something wrong. I wasn’t exciting enough to keep him interested. Maybe I can fix this if I set things right with him, talk things through, compromise.

But wait. This option has been taken away from me. He has already made his feelings clear. No answer is an answer. If he wanted to work things out, he could’ve had a conversation with me, but he didn’t.

Why have we stopped saying goodbye?

Why is it so easy to just stop responding to messages or answering calls?

Why do we pretend like we’re strangers?

How can people can act like they didn’t underestimate the pain that they have caused?

How can people be too self-absorbed to consider someone’s feelings?

We hardly say goodbye anymore. We don’t even bother to explain. We don’t try to take the time to make sure the other person is okay. We just take off, failing to recognize that someone was waiting for us. Someone wanted to be part of our lives. Someone wanted their future with us.

So we leave. We don’t look back. We don’t even try to come back. We don’t take the time to say goodbye, we say leave me alone. I don’t want you. You’re not even worth my time. I’m not sorry for breaking your heart because it was never mine.

The hardest part of all is that you’re left with no opportunity to ask questions or even express your emotions and feelings. You have a lot of questions, with no one to answer them. It sucks when the person doesn’t even have the decency to break up with you.

You know for a fact that you shouldn’t want anything to do with such a person. Yet, for some reason, you can’t get them out of your head. You want to see them. You want to text them. You want everything to go back to the way it used to be.

You thought you had a special connection with this person. You thought you were hitting it off with this person. You didn’t see the goodbye coming. You weren’t ready for it. Adjusting to a new life will take a while. You will need time to make sense of the situation.

Letting go might not be an option at first. You might want to reach out to them. You might want to beg for a second chance — or you might want to demand answers from them. But at the end of the day, they already told you everything you needed to hear.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Mia Winhertt says:

    Carla, this one hits home, girl! Brutally honest! Just what so many need to hear! 👏

    Like

  2. I have been single 9 years after a divorce. I’ve dated many guys. A few I dated 2-3 Months. Some of them disappeared. No explanation. Nothing. It is very hurtful. Very immature. Very selfish! What’s the matter with people today?

    Like

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